Pallavi Singh: Metrosexy Delhi

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/05/21/pallavi-singh-metrosexy-delhi/

It’s always fas­ci­nat­ing to see and hear about the ways in which met­ro­sex­u­al­ity is interpreted/expressed/appropriated/completely rewrit­ten in dif­fer­ent parts of the world, par­tic­u­larly the parts that I and most West­ern­ers tend to overlook.

The parts in other words that actu­ally make up most of the world.

India for instance, with its pre-colonial tra­di­tions of ‘pagan’ androg­yny — and emerg­ing con­sumerism as it begins to assert itself as one of the economies likely to shape the 21st Cen­tury — has both eagerly taken up met­ro­sex­u­al­ity and adeptly rein­ter­preted it to its own needs.

So I was very glad when I was recently con­tacted by an artist in Delhi called Pallavi Singh.

From Ms Singh’s artist statement:

While grow­ing up and dur­ing my for­ma­tive years in art, I was intrigued by changes occur­ring with age in men both in terms of behav­iour and psy­che and also the strug­gles against it and mea­sures taken to reverse it. I have cre­ated char­ac­ters based on obser­va­tions and insights drawn from life expe­ri­ences in and around my imme­di­ate sur­round­ings. Through these char­ac­ters I try to depict the long­ing for youth­ful appear­ances, the veiled fan­tasies and the hid­den desires which are now becom­ing more vis­i­ble and observ­able in the back­ground of changes in the soci­ety and grow­ing acces­si­bil­i­ties to new avenues.

The long­ing for youth­ful appear­ances, the veiled fan­tasies and the hid­den desires which are now becom­ing more vis­i­ble and observ­able.

Quite.

The Perfect Mandate: Obama and Becks (and the media)

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/05/15/the-perfect-mandate-obama-and-becks-and-the-media/

David Beck­ham, global poster-boy for met­ro­sex­u­al­ity, sport­ing an Edwar­dian beard, had a hot date with Obama at the White House today.

Though he had to bring his team-mates along as LA Galaxy were being hon­oured with a recep­tion after win­ning the Major League Soc­cer Cup, America’s equiv­a­lent of the Premiership.

After list­ing the soc­cer star’s achieve­ments, intro­duc­ing him josh­ingly as a “young up-and-comer,” and adding that, “half your team­mates could be your kids”, Obama quipped (almost fluff­ing the line): “It’s a rare man that can be that tough on the field and have his own line of underwear.”

Or as rare as a GQ Com­man­der in Chief?

Con­trary to recent reports, Obama is not the first gay Pres­i­dent. He’s the first met­ro­sex­ual Pres­i­dent. Or as I wrote in Met­ro­sexy:

“A well-dressed mixed-race, poly­glot male who makes the Free World wait on his gym visit every morn­ing. A man whose looks are reg­u­larly praised – par­tic­u­larly by male jour­nal­ists. A man who won the Demo­c­ra­tic nom­i­na­tion in part because he was much pret­tier than his more expe­ri­enced female oppo­nent. His wife Michelle is very attrac­tive too, of course – but in some ways Obama is the first US Pres­i­dent to be his own First Lady.”

Which makes the Beck­ham and Obama’s hot date quite a his­toric occasion.

I can’t quite decide though whether Obama’s own ram­pant met­ro­sex­u­al­ity makes his bitchy remark to Beck­ham about his under­wear funny or a bit…pants.

LONG HOT PUNTER: PAUL WELLER’S TOPLESS VIDEO REVISITED

Scourge of The Eton Rifles Paul Weller was send­ing out quite a state­ment to his die hard Jam fans in this video for his 1983 Style Coun­cil sin­gle ‘Long Hot Sum­mer’, shot on the River Cam in Cam­bridge. Act­ing the big posh poof­tah in a punt.

Like almost every­one in the UK in the early 80s the young Mod­fa­ther had fallen madly in love with the beautifully-shot 1981 ITV adap­ta­tion of Eve­lyn Waugh’s Brideshead Revis­ited – much like today’s Down­ton Abbey, but with believ­able, inter­est­ing aris­tos, a script, and an actual point.

Oh, and a seduc­tive homo­erotic sto­ry­line in which two young het­ero men fall for one another sur­rounded by the Baroque splen­dour of Cas­tle Howard, York­shire. Charles Ryder’s long hot sum­mer with the deca­dent Sebas­t­ian Flyte opened up a whole new realm of sen­sa­tion for a gen­er­a­tion emerg­ing from the con­crete rub­ble of 1970s Britain. Even for the son of a taxi dri­ver and a cleaner from Wok­ing like Weller.

Castle Howard Gardens Long Hot Punter: Paul Wellers Topless Video Revisted

I some­times won­der, con­sid­er­ing the bathetic com­par­i­son betweenBrideshead and Down­ton, and the gen­eral, glo­ri­ous queer­ness of early 80s pop cul­ture, whether the notion of ‘progress’ is just a illu­sion we cling to make the dimin­ish­ing returns of life more bear­able. (And by ‘we’ I mean ‘I’ of course.) Though much less tech­ni­cally sophis­ti­cated, Weller’s Brideshead trib­ute video ‘Long Hot Sum­mer’ video knocks LMFAO’s ‘Sexy and I Know It’ into a banana hammock.

Rather won­der­fully, wank­ing seems to be the focus of this promo, along  with the atten­dant nar­cis­sism, homo­eroti­cism of Paul’s dis­play of top­less, oiled-up self-pleasuring for the cam­era – lying on his back for most of the video whilst his fully-clothed chum labours behind him. Thirty years on, and after all the slutty, sporno­graphic adver­tis­ing cam­paigns of the last decade, Paul’s petu­lant pas­siv­ity in this video is still jaw-dropping.

Under­stand­ably, Style Coun­cil gui­tarist Mick Tal­bot is dri­ven to play­ing with his pole and gnaw­ing pass­ing wil­low trees in frus­tra­tion. But never fear! Relief is at hand — a lit­tle later pretty Paul is spit-roasted in his punt by the drum­mer and the guitarist.

Weller’s whip­pet thin body also reminds us of what British young men looked like before Ronald McDon­ald and Mens Health redesigned them.

Or maybe I’m just falling prey to the intox­i­cat­ing nos­tal­gia for a bet­ter, more golden time that per­me­ated Brideshead.

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/05/14/long-hot-punter-paul-wellers-topless-video-revisted/

Winsome, Lonesome, Mansome

It’s always tricky as a writer talk­ing to a researcher for a TV or film doc­u­men­tary. On the one hand you want your ideas to be taken seri­ously and the his­tor­i­cal record to be as accu­rate as pos­si­ble. And of course we all like atten­tion. Espe­cially from a visual medium we prob­a­bly don’t belong in.

On the other hand, you don’t want to give every­thing away for nowt.

But you can hardly blame researchers for try­ing. For every ‘expert’ who appears on-screen in a doc, prob­a­bly a dozen or more had their brains picked.

I don’t recall much of what I gab­bled down the phone when I was con­tacted a cou­ple of years ago by a female asso­ciate of the indie doc­u­men­tary maker Mor­gan Spur­lock about a doc­u­men­tary she was help­ing him develop about the ‘male-grooming indus­try’. But I do remem­ber that after speak­ing to her for about an hour I politely wound up the call – after get­ting that famil­iar brain-pick feel­ing. Or maybe I was just embar­rassed at how talk­a­tive I’d been.

And that was the last I heard from Spur­lock & Co. Which didn’t sur­prise me as I live in the UK, and it’s an Amer­i­can doc (with an Indie bud­get). True, I’m credited/blamed not just for coin­ing the ‘met­ro­sex­ual’ back in 1994 but also intro­duc­ing him to the US ten years ago this Sum­mer, kick­ing off the national ner­vous break­down Amer­ica had over mas­culin­ity in the Noughties and from which it is yet to fully recover. (Sorry ‘bout that, guys!)

But if there’s one thing the USA has no need to import from Blighty it’s talk­ing big heads. They pro­duce even more of those them­selves than they do male beauty products.

Last April Man­some as it is now offi­cially dubbed, emerged glis­ten­ing and groomed at the TriBeCa film fes­ti­val. With the pub­lic­ity poseur: ‘In the age of man­scap­ing, met­ro­sex­u­als, and groom­ing prod­ucts galore – what does it mean to be a man?’ And of course they found plenty of States-side experts, plus sev­eral celebs, such as Paul Rudd, Judd Apa­tow and John Waters to answer that ques­tion – along with Jason Bate­man and Will Arnett, both exec­u­tive pro­duc­ers of the doc and unashamed pedicurists.

I haven’t seen Man­some myself yet (an enquiry to the distributor’s press office some weeks ago has yet to pro­duce a response), but going by the trail­ers, the advance reviews – and the title – I have a hunch that even if I’d lived within eyebrow-plucking dis­tance of Spur­lock and had been inter­viewed on cam­era for days I still wouldn’t have made the final nip and tuck of Man­some.

That ‘ironic’ music in the trailer, rem­i­nis­cent of Des­per­ate House­wives, seems to be there as a reas­sur­ance that none of this is to be taken seri­ously. That – relax dudes! – Man­some won’t goose you with any pointy ideas orinsights. After all, even an indie film costs actual money to make and you have to get bums – waxed or just clenched – on seats to have a hope of get­ting any of it back. Man­some is sell­ing itself as light enter­tain­ment not heavy enquiry. Or as Jes­sica Ben­nett at the Daily Beast put it in her review: ‘pseudo-documentary’.

So prob­a­bly the last thing poor Spur­lock would have wanted was the Eng­lish and queer Metro­daddy insist­ing that met­ro­sex­u­al­ity is not only male van­ity swish­ing tri­umphantly out of the closet, but tarty male pas­siv­ityflaunt­ing itself every­where too. How men’s now flagrant-fragrant desire to be desired means that mod­ern mas­culin­ity is quite lit­er­ally ask­ing for it.

But I won­der a bit how many bums, male or female, clenched or oth­er­wiseMan­some will actu­ally lure into the mul­ti­plex. Arnett and Bate­man are very droll in their tow­elling dress­ing gowns, but really, in 2012 who gen­uinely finds the notion of Hol­ly­wood actors vis­it­ing spas or shav­ing their backs remark­able? Or ter­ri­bly snig­ger some? Even in America?

What’s more, the trail­ers, the cred­its and the hair­lines sug­gest the mas­culin­ity being spot­lighted here is mostly middle-aged. (It takes one to know one.)

One reviewer com­plained Man­some is ‘cute’ but has ‘noth­ing to say’. I doubt any­one would have both­ered to make that com­plaint if we were talk­ing Mikey Sorrentino’s abs. Or Chan­ning Tatum’s but­tocks. Or Justin Bieber’s dim­ples (Bieber, by the way, was born the very same year as the met­ro­sex­ual). I cer­tainly wouldn’t.

In the UK many if not most of the younger gen­er­a­tion of males have taken met­ro­sex­u­al­ity as a given and lit­er­ally fash­ioned their own bod­ies into a desir­able, mar­ketable prod­uct – and facial hair into less of a sec­ondary sex­ual char­ac­ter­is­tic, or fetish of man­hood, than just another sweet male acces­sory. Rather than try to define ‘what makes a man’ most would rather visit the gym or the tan­ning salon. Again.

Or show Metro­daddy their depilated pubes, balls and pierced John-Thomases in the pub. While their girl­friends look on, rolling their eyes. (No, really, this hap­pens to me ALL the time. It’s just one of the many crosses I have to bear.…)

Despite all this carp­ing I’m still keen to see Man­some. Amer­ica — or maybe just Amer­ica of a cer­tain age - does still need to talk this stuff through, hon­estly and openly. Espe­cially after the men­da­cious ‘menais­sance’ anti-metro back­lash of the late Noughties that shut down the (admit­tedly rather skin-deep) con­ver­sa­tion by shout­ing: ‘MAN-UP!!’.

Or the retreat into a slightly creepy if metic­u­lously observed hip­ster wax­work ver­sion of Madi­son Avenue in the 1960s.

And there are some encour­ag­ing signs that Man­some might have some­thing to say after all. Exec­u­tive pro­ducer Bate­man was quoted say­ing some­thing rather refresh­ing in the WSJ the other day, cut­ting through much of the mar­ket­ing froth around ‘male groom­ing’ – i.e. male beauty:

‘What this film con­firmed for me was that men are not aller­gic to the mir­ror at all, We want to be as pretty as females. Body-hair removal, skin care—men basi­cally do the same things, but are more secre­tive about them.’

Mind you, in the same arti­cle Spur­lock him­self was quoted as blam­ing Adam’s van­ity on Eve again – in a very famil­iar and fruit­less attempt to straighten out male narcissism:

“Men do crazy things for women, to get them and to keep them,” he said. “If all women were like, I want to have sex with a big, hairy Nean­derthal, next thing you know one of the most pop­u­lar prod­ucts would be stuff that grows hair on your back and forearms.”

Not so sure about that, dar­ling. (Though I do know a few bears who are already hot for hairy backs.)

And then there’s the manly strap-on euphemism cho­sen as the title for his doc. The Wiki page for Man­some includes this help­ful para­graph about it:

‘Man­some’ is a rel­a­tively new word in pop cul­ture. It is defined by UrbanDictionary.com as ‘an adjec­tive that describes a man who is both manly and hand­some.’ Man­some, the doc­u­men­tary, attempts to clar­ify exactly what makes a man “mansome”.

Obvi­ously this is intended as a clever, ironic decon­struc­tion of the way the ‘man’ word is too often stuck on a ‘girly’ prod­uct so that unad­ven­tur­ous fel­lows don’t think their nads are going to fall off if they buy it.

After all, ‘hand­some’ is a tra­di­tional, accept­able ‘manly’ euphemism for ‘mas­cu­line beauty’. Or ‘attrac­tive male’. One that a chap can use to describe another chap with­out call­ing into ques­tion one’s own whop­ping manhood.

So, need­lessly strap­ping ‘man’ on an already essen­tially ‘male’ word would be some­thing you would only ever do to point up the ridicu­lously camp and self-defeating nature of all these ‘man’ words, wouldn’t it?

I mean, effec­tively call­ing your doc­u­men­tary about male beauty Hand­some (No Homo) is some­thing you could only be doing to satirise the juve­nile homo­pho­bia of Amer­i­can culture.

Isn’t it?

Man­some goes on gen­eral release in the US later this month.

Mark Simpson’s Met­ro­sexy: a 21st Cen­tury Self-Love Story is avail­able now.

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/05/08/winsome-losesome-mansome/

Don’t You Have A Poster Of Matthew McConaughey In Your Room?

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/04/28/dont-you-have-a-poster-of-matthew-mcconaughey-in-your-room/

Honey, you don’t want to know what I have to do for twenties!

 

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/04/24/honey-you-dont-wanna-know-what-i-have-to-do-for-twenties/

The Few, The Proud

The mythol­ogy, the rit­u­als, the dogma, the cult of mas­culin­ity and most of all the hair­cut, set US Marines apart. Mark Simp­son takes a look at a mem­oir of the First Gulf War.

(Inde­pen­dent on Sun­day 23/03/2003)

It may seem odd that the United States Marine Corps, the elite fourth branch of the US Armed Ser­vices, larger and bet­ter equipped than the whole British Army, heroic vic­tors of Iwo Jima and Guadal­canal, spear­head of the last and cur­rent Gulf War, should be best known for, and most proud of, its hairdo. But then, the USMC is a pecu­liar insti­tu­tion. Mag­nif­i­cent, but very peculiar.

“Jar­head”, the moniker US marines give one another, derives from the dis­tinc­tive “high and tight” buz­z­cut that Marine Corps bar­bers dis­pense, leav­ing per­haps a quar­ter of an inch of per­son­al­ity on top and plenty of naked, anony­mous scalp on the sides. Like cir­cum­ci­sion and the Hebrews, the jar­head bar­net has his­tor­i­cally set US marines apart, mark­ing them as the cho­sen and the damned: monk­ish war­riors. Or as one of the Corps’ mot­tos has it: “The Few, The Proud”.

Image is impor­tant for US marines, per­haps because of the bur­den of sym­bol­ism (for many, the USMC is Amer­ica) but per­haps more par­tic­u­larly because the USMC is John Wayne. Jar­heads, or rather, actors in high-and-tight hair­cuts, are invari­ably the stars of Hol­ly­wood war movies; the other ser­vices just don’t have the glam­our and the grit of the dev­il­dogs. As a result, the mythol­ogy, the rit­u­als and the dog­tag dogma of the Marine Corps cult of mas­culin­ity — boot camp, the DI, sounding-off, cussing and haz­ing, tear­ful grad­u­a­tion, test-of-manhood deploy­ment, and that hair­cut — are prob­a­bly more famil­iar to British boys than, say, those of the Royal Marines.

The rela­tion­ship of real jar­heads to their actress imper­son­ators is con­fus­ingly close. When 20-year-old Lance Cor­po­ral Anthony Swof­ford and his bud­dies in a scout/sniper pla­toon get the order to pre­pare to ship out to Saudi Ara­bia in 1990 in response to the Iraqi inva­sion of Kuwait, they spend three days drink­ing beer and watch­ing war movies. Iron­i­cally, their favourite films, such as Pla­toon, Apoc­a­lypse Now and Full Metal Jacket are osten­si­bly “anti-war” lib­eral pleas to “end this mad­ness”, but for fight­ing men they only serve to get them hot: “Filmic images of death and car­nage are pornog­ra­phy for the mil­i­tary man,” explains Swof­ford, “with film you are stroking his cock, tick­ling his balls with the pink feather of his­tory, get­ting him ready for his First Fuck.” Take note, Oliver Stone, you pink feather dick-tickler: “As a young man raised on the films of the Viet­nam War, I want ammu­ni­tion and alco­hol and dope, I want to screw some whores and kill some Iraqi motherfuckers.”

In fact, Swofford’s ”Jar­head: A Marine’s chron­i­cle of the Gulf War’’ is an avowedly “anti-war” mem­oir, pow­er­fully writ­ten (pink feath­ers aside) and well-crafted, by some­one who was clearly embit­tered, not to say dam­aged, by his expe­ri­ence of the USMC and his par­tic­i­pa­tion in the First Gulf War. Nev­er­the­less, it isn’t clear whether Swof­ford, for all his reflec­tive­ness, and of course his authen­tic­ity, is much more suc­cess­ful in demys­ti­fy­ing war in gen­eral or the Corps. Telling us that war is hell (again) is rather coun­ter­pro­duc­tive: hell is after all a rather inter­est­ing place, cer­tainly more inter­est­ing than heaven, or civil­ian “nor­mal­ity”. More­over, the quasi-religious, dra­matic tone Swof­ford strikes of despair and ecstasy, lone­li­ness and cama­raderie, and the awful– but-fascinating base­ness of war is not so dif­fer­ent from that of Stone or Cop­pola (or for that mat­ter, of Mailer). And while there are not quite so many explo­sions, there’s no short­age of pornography.

When sweat­ing in Saudi in 1990 wait­ing for the war to start, Swofford’s unit find them­selves being ordered to per­form for the media, play­ing foot­ball in rub­ber NBC suits in 100-degree heat. To sab­o­tage the hated pro­pa­ganda op, they start a favourite rit­ual of theirs, a “Field fuck”, a sim­u­lated gang rape, “wherein marines vio­late one mem­ber of the unit,” Swof­ford tells us. “The vic­tim is held fast in the dog­gie posi­tion and his fel­low marines take turns from behind.”

Get­ting into the spirit of things, the jar­heads shout out help­ful remarks such as: “Get that vir­gin Texas ass! It’s free!” The vic­tim him­self screams: “I’m the pret­ti­est girl any of you has ever had! I’ve seen the whores you’ve bought, you sick bas­tards!” The press stop tak­ing notes.

Swof­ford reas­sures us that this prac­tice “wasn’t sex­ual” but was instead “com­mu­nal” — how­ever, even in his own terms it seems that the dis­tinc­tion is almost super­flu­ous: it’s the hall­mark of mil­i­tary life that what’s sex­ual becomes com­mu­nal. Else­where he tells us about the “Wall of Shame” on base: hun­dreds of pho­tos of ex-girlfriends who proved unfaith­ful — fre­quently with other marines.

Swofford’s obses­sion with the marines had a media ori­gin, begin­ning in 1984 when the USMC bar­racks in Lebanon was bombed, killing 241 US ser­vice­men. He recounts watch­ing the news bul­letins on the TV and how he “stood at atten­tion and hummed the national anthem as the rough-hewn jar­heads… car­ried their com­rades from the rub­ble. The marines were all sizes and all colours, all dirty and exhausted and hurt, and they were men, and I was a boy falling in love with man­hood…”. Man­hood in Swofford’s fam­ily was inti­mately linked to the mil­i­tary: his father served in Viet­nam, while his grand­fa­ther fought in the Sec­ond World War. The desir­abil­ity of man­li­ness was the desir­abil­ity of war.

It is prob­a­bly not so strange that his obses­sion should have begun with an almost masochis­tic image of suf­fer­ing and death: tak­ing it like a man is an even more impor­tant part of the mil­i­tary expe­ri­ence than giv­ing it. Sure enough, at boot camp Swof­ford finds his Drill Instruc­tor to be a fully-fledged sadist of the kind that civil­ian masochists can only fan­ta­sise about: “I am your mommy and your daddy! I am your night­mare and your wet dream! I will tell you when to piss and when to shit and how much food to eat and when! I will forge you into part of the iron fist with which our great United States fights oppres­sion and injus­tice!” Like many recruits, Swof­ford signed up to get away from a dis­in­te­grat­ing home life and the flawed real­ity of his father and found that he had mar­ried his super­ego made bark­ing, spit­ting, apoplec­tic flesh.

The DI’s job, as we all know from the movies, is to humil­i­ate and break down the recruit, shame him, strip away his civil­ian per­son­al­ity and weak­nesses and build him up into a marine. The DI is obsessed with inau­then­tic­ity: find­ing out who is not “really” a marine. He asks Swof­ford if he’s “a fag­got… you sure have pretty blue eyes”. Dur­ing one of these haz­ings, Swof­ford pisses his pants — an under­stand­able reac­tion, but intrigu­ingly it hap­pens to be the same one that he men­tions ear­lier in the book, when, as a young boy liv­ing in Japan (his father had a tour of duty there), he received “con­fus­ing and arous­ing” com­pli­ments on his blue eyes from Japan­ese women.

For good mea­sure the DI also smashes Swofford’s con­fused shaved head through a chalk­board. Later, when this DI is under inves­ti­ga­tion for his vio­lent excesses, Swof­ford shops him. How­ever, he feels guilty about this and day­dreams about run­ning into the DI and “let­ting him beat on me some more”. Like I said, the USMC, God bless it, is a pecu­liar organisation.

Of course, Swof­ford isn’t your aver­age jar­head. “I sat in the back of the Humvee and read the Iliad” is a mem­o­rable line. Other days might see him buried in The Portable Niet­zsche or The Myth of Sisy­phus. Swof­ford also seems a lit­tle highly-strung: he attempts sui­cide, Full Metal Jacket– style, fel­lat­ing the muz­zle of his rifle after receiv­ing a Dear John let­ter from his girl­friend. He’s saved by his return­ing room­mate, who takes him on a run “that lasts all night”. More phys­i­cal pain to salve the exis­ten­tial vari­ety. By the book’s end, we are left with an image of Swof­ford, long dis­charged, wrestling with despair, not least over the sights he saw in action in Kuwait, but now with­out the dis­trac­tion of phys­i­cal suf­fer­ing and dis­ci­pline. Sisy­phus with­out the rock.

Mind you, “jar­head” does sug­gest some­thing that can be unscrewed: brains that can be eas­ily spooned out. It may be true that some men become sol­diers to kill; but it may equally be the case that some join to be killed, or at least escape the bur­den of con­scious­ness. Swof­ford appears to feel cheated that life not only went on after the Gulf War (like most U.S. ground com­bat­ants he was a largely a spec­ta­tor of the mas­sacring potency of Amer­i­can air power) but in fact became more com­pli­cated and burdensome.

Under these cir­cum­stances, I think most of us would miss our DI.

© Mark Simpson

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/04/21/the-few-the-proud/

The Male Body- Mark Simpson Interviewed by Liberation

CG: In 1994, you coined the term “Metrosexual”. Looking back, how would you say the concept has evolved? In what way do you find this definition still relevant?

MS: Well, naturally the reason it’s still relevant, Clement, because I’ve recently published a book on the subject!

More seriously, metrosexuality is still relevant all these moisturised years later because the breadth and depth of the masculine revolution it represents has been obscured – often quite deliberately – in a lot of chatter about facials, ‘manbags’ and flip-flops.

Ironically, out-and-proud male beauty isn’t itself skin-deep. Metrosexuality represents a profound change in how we look at and think about men. The emergence from its closet of the male desire to be desired has revolutionised the culture and also opened up the options of what a man can be.

Metrosexuality isn’t about male facials or manbags. It’s not about men becoming ‘girly’ or ‘gay’. It’s about men becoming everything. To themselves. In much the same way that women have been for some time.

For all its faults, metrosexuality represents a kind of ‘male liberation’. It’s the end of the sexual division of labour in looking and loving – of bathroom and bedroom labour. And of ‘sexuality’ itself.

Male ‘passivity’ is the flip side of female ‘activity’ – and should be welcomed or at least accepted as much as the latter, but is mostly mocked instead. Metrosexuality has too often provoked a kind of reverse sexism.

How has the metrosexual man blurred the boundaries between the “gay” and straight” labels?

Irretrievably. To quote metrodaddy’s own definition of the metrosexual:

‘He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love-object and pleasure as his sexual preference.’

There’s nothing ‘straight’ about metrosexuality. Even though most metros definitely prefer women in bed.

Narcissism was supposed to be the female quality par excellence. ‘Vanity thy name is woman’. It’s considered ‘feminine’ because inviting the gaze/exhibitionism is ‘passive’. Likewise homosexual men were considered deviant and ‘womanish’ because of their – real or perceived – passivity. In a sense, homos existed to lock up male passivity in the homo body and keep it away from ‘normal’ men.

Men were officially supposed to be always desiring, never desired. Always looking, never looked at. Always active, never passive. Always hetero never homo.

Metrosexuality queers all of that. By outing the ‘passivity’ in men, their desire to be desired, and also their keen visual interest in other men and their bodies. It’s precisely because of this blurring between gay and straight that many older and more traditional types have reacted with phobic and often hysterical hostility to metrosexuality. What indeed is straight a man to do – who in fact is he to be – if he can’t define himself as NOT a gay?

Particularly in the monosexual US, which had a gigantic national nervous breakdown over the metrosexual in the mid-late Noughties, precisely because of the queerness of metrosexuality – producing a so-called ‘menaissance’ backlash against it.

Though the backlash was largely a phoney one. Metrosexuality continued to conquer that conflicted continent, albeit on the down-low, and even the US is now led by a sveltely handsome man who makes the world wait on his morning workout and who, despite Michelle’s prettiness, is in many ways his own First Lady.

Even in less traditionalist countries like Britain there have been reaction-formations too, but less pronounced, and the younger generation has generally been quicker to seize the freedom from gay/straight, male/female ghettoes and binaries that metrosexuality offers. Recent research claimed that most hetero young men at university enjoy kissing their male friends full on the lips as an expression of affection. Quite a turnabout for an Anglo country that sentenced Oscar Wilde to three years hard labour!

Recently in The Guardian, you said that “the metrosexual revolution has taken an increasingly physical, sensual form”. Can you comment on that?

Metrosexuality is consumerist and fashion-orientated, but it isn’t necessarilyabout clothes. In fact, these days it’s perhaps less about clothes than the ultimate accessory: the body. It’s almost as if male nakedness has been abolished at the very moment that acres of male flesh are displayed everywhere you look. Young men have invested a great deal of time, money and supplements ‘fashioning’ their bodies into something they ‘wear’ – and show off. Shaven (often everywhere), sculpted, intricately tattooed, pierced. Never, ever unmediated.

The near-global hegemony of ‘Men’s Health’ magazine with its Photoshopped covers of men’s sculpted torsos bears testimony to this, along with the massive popularity of reality shows such as ‘Jersey Shore’, which feature young men like Mikey Sorrentino showing off their tits and abs.

In this they’re also following in the footsteps of tarty sporno stars like David Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo and Rafael Nadal, whose bodies are marketed and promoted by corporate consumerism.

A whole generation of young men have grown up with metrosexiness. As the recent hit LMFAO single that is a kind of metrosexy anthem puts it: ‘I’m sexy and I know It’.

In the same article you evoked the highest and heightened interest of men in their own bodies (diets, steroids, gyms). What do you think is driving this?

It’s partly an effect of post-industrialism. It’s interesting that its most pronounced amongst young working class males who in the past might have looked forwards to a life of selling their labour and working on other men’s property, but who now instead of going to the factory go to the gym to labour on their own bodies and turn them into a product. Their bodies remain the only thing they own – their only asset.

But now they turn their bodies into a commodity themselves. By making themselves desirable they give themselves value in a consumerist world. Not for nothing are athletes such as Beckham who willingly strip off and push their packets down our throats on the side of buses often from a working class background.

It’s also the effect of course of an increasingly visual world – of webcams, facebook, camera phones, widescreen HD TVs, and reality TV. The desire to be desired is also about the desire to be noticed. To be wanted. To be popular. To succeed.

And let’s not discount the importance of all the vast quantities of porn that men and boys are now downloading, in which the male body is fully on display. And is usually worked out, shaved, tattooed, de-pubed. Lots of men aspire to be male porn stars these days. Or at least many of them seem to be auditioning for that job….

In recent years, male bodies have been very much shot on screen.
Sometimes, even more than female bodies. I’m thinking of Ryan Gosling in comedies such as Crazy Stupid Love, Justin Timberlake inFriends With Benefits or Alexander Skarsgard in the TV show True Blood. How do you explain this?

Friends With Benefits was a feature film all about Justin’s ass! It was in almost every scene. We even heard from his girlfriend that he likes a finger up it. His character was working as an art-director for American GQ but had a body by Men’s Health. How metrosexual can you get!

Women, who make up the majority of TV viewers, have discovered an appetite for looking at men’s bodies on screen. In some ways the sexy scantily clad male has become a symbol of women’s consuming power and their new assertive sexual appetite. True Blood especially seems to ‘feed’ on that.

But men also as we’ve seen also enjoy looking at other men’s bodies, and admiring, desiring and aspiring to them.

 What do you think of this quote? The actor Thomas Jane said, after appearing naked on screen, “I now know what it’s like to be a woman, because I now have to say during a conversation, ‘Hey, my eyes are up here!’ “

It’s a funny quote, but it’s interesting that the sex of the person he’s talking to with wandering eyes is left unstated.

Men are ‘sex objects’ now too. Some might put it in terms of ‘men are the new women’. But actually what metrosexuality has done is to break down the boundaries between ‘men’ and ‘women’.

Ironically many feminists are completely blind to this phenomenon of men willingly objectifying themselves and other males. Or they pretend it’s a marginal thing in no way comparable to the objectification of women. When clearly in mainstream media, particularly TV and cinema, it’s at the very leastthe equivalent of female objectification.

Male nudity and sex is now a full advertising argument. How do you explain David Beckham’s “package” on the Armani/H&M camaigns? Or the homoerotic Dolce & Gabbana ads?

This is what I dub ‘sporno’ – the place where sporn and porn get into bed while Mr Armani and Dolce and Gabbana take pictures.

Sporno represents an intensification of metrosexuality. Where early metrosexuality was soft-core, sporno is hardcore. Metrosexuality is now so mainstream and so ‘normal’ that male coquettishness isn’t in itself likely to turn heads. So instead you have to promise the punters a gang-bang in the showers. Or, more usually, a prone, passive image of a sporting star with their legs apart literally making themselves available for the viewing public.

And of course the ‘hardcore’ aesthetic of sporno is flagrantly gay.

Some have tried to dismiss all this as some kind of conspiracy by gay fashionistas to corrupt young straight men and ram their proclivities down their throats. If it is, it’s worked. Spectacularly. Sporno is the aesthetic of the 21st Century.

Likewise, metrosexuality is now so mainstream that to point to someone as a ‘metrosexual’ these days is almost redundant. That’s why I called my latest collection ‘Metrosexy’ – because what we’re talking now is not a ‘type’ but rather a whole new male way of looking and being looked at.

Do you think that gay imaging has now completely entered (predominantly straight) society? How do you explain the fact that it is now a commercial tool?

Well as I say, it makes people look. Which is quite an achievement in this jaded age.

But also ‘gay’ imaging is inevitable once the male body is commodified, and once men begin to objectify themselves and other men. This is part of the reason why it was banned or resisted for so long.

It’s impossible to straighten this stuff out. Of course, people try. Men sometimes pretend that their self objectification is ‘strictly for the ladies’. But even if this weren’t a bare-cheeked lie it wouldn’t solve anything. Because the ‘queerness’ is in the male passivity. It’s about as ‘straight’ as being fucked with a strap-on.

It even turns out that many women have male-on-male fantasies which increasingly commercial culture is pandering to. In other words, men are being encouraged to ‘act gay’ to turn the ladies on.

More cynically, or perhaps more realistically, gay ideals of male beauty and perfection are largely unachievable. That’s really the point of them. They promise endless desiring – and also anxiety. Which is what consumerism needs….

Mark Simpson’s ‘Metrosexy’ is available on Amazon Kindle

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/04/19/the-male-body-mark-simpson-interview-in-liberation-newspaper/

‘Calvin Klein Is My Father’

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/04/19/calvin-klein-is-my-father/

Mad Men And Medusas

Coming across this old review of Juliet Mitchell’s ‘Mad Men and Medusas’ (Independent on Sunday, 2001) reminded me that pretty much all the main characters in the TV series of the same name launched in the late Noughties are hysterics, but most especially Madison Avenue’s Don Juan, aka Donald Draper. I hope Mitchell is getting a royalty.

by Mark Simpson

A touch of hysteria can make you a real hit with the ladies. If you play your symptoms right, eminent feminist scholars might even end up arguing over your body years after your death.

Robert Connolly was treated for hysteria in 1876. He suffered from an unfortunate compulsion which forced him to swing his arms from side to side like a pendulum. Elaine Showalter, the mediagenic American feminist, held him up in her 1997 book ‘Hystories’ as an example of how hysteria is a response to a situation that is untenable – pointing out that he worked as a watchmaker she ‘read’ his body as an expressing his distaste for the monotonous, finicky work he was unable to articulate through language. Hysteria, in other words, is the corporeal protest of the powerless and inarticulate working class, women and blacks; literally, the symbolic sigh of the oppressed.

It sounds plausible. It certainly sounds fashionable – since it’s saying that hysteria, like everything else these days, is ‘about power’. But in ‘Mad Men and Medusas: Reclaiming Hysteria’ Juliet Mitchell the not-so mediagenic British feminist psychoanalyst disagrees. Inarticulate frustration at his job is not enough to explain Connolly’s symptoms, she argues (and besides, runs the risk of middle class condescension). Politics has rendered him a cipher for social forces. What is missing is the internal compulsion producing his symptoms: he could not stop. Mitchell speculates that Connolly may have been aware of Voltaire’s comparison of God to a watchmaker. Such a hubristic identification would, explains Mitchell, have had to have been repressed. When it returned from the failed repression – as such wishes do – it made a compromise with the ego which had repressed it in order to allow it’s expression. ‘With the wit of the unconscious, the watchmaker who wants to be God finds that, as Voltaire said, it is God who is the watchmaker.’

This poetic interpretation may or may not explain Robert Connolly’s hysteria, but it certainly explains why Showalter is much more likely to be invited on Richard and Judy or, for that matter, Newsnight than Mitchell. For her part, Mitchell explains that whatever the specifics of the case, a conflict of a wish for omnipotence and a prevention of it would be needed to explain Connolly’s – or any hysteric’s – movements. In other words, what’s needed is psychoanalysis.

And, at a time when many seem to want to be unconvinced of psychoanalysis’ value, Mitchell’s book makes a convincing argument for this. Not only because ‘Mad Men and Medusas’ offers a deeper, subtler – and much more difficult – understanding of hysteria than the familiar victim-victimiser Manichean narrative of American feminism, but also because it admits that psychoanalysis itself is part of the problem.

Hysteria was recorded and written about for 4000 years before disappearing in the earlier part of this century. Today the term is almost unheard of in clinical usage. However, its many manifestations throughout the ages are still familiar: sensations of suffocation, choking, breathing and eating difficulties, mimetic imitations, deceitfulness, shocks, fits, death states, craving and longing.

Hysteria has of course historically been strongly associated with women. The Greek doctors talked of a ‘wandering womb’ requiring treatment, Christian witchfinders of a ‘seduction by the Devil’ requiring drowning or burning. After the Renaissance, hysteria was remedicalised and, following the vogue, located in the brain, albeit a female one. In the Eighteenth Century refined women were quaintly described as suffering from ‘the vapours’ (which emanated primarily from the brain but were somehow supplemented by especially debilitating vapours from the womb). By the Nineteenth Century asylums were chock full of hysterical women. By the end of the Twentieth Century, no one was diagnosed as having ‘hysteria’ any more. For Mitchell this is not something to be celebrated: defying postmodern correctness, she asserts that hysteria is as universal and as transhistorical and as complex a phenomenon as ‘love’ and ‘hate’ (which are, it so happens, both constituent parts of hysteria).

So who kidnapped hysteria? It would appear that embarrassed masculine pride bundled it off the clinical scene. She argues that hysteria disappeared because of the intolerability of the idea of male hysteria to men. Eighteenth Century science’s relocation of hysteria in the brain, even in one intoxicated by the presence of a vagina, meant that hysteria was no longer so hygienically confined to the female of the species. Ironically, Nineteenth Century psychoanalysis, which was born out of the study of hysteria, hastened the ‘disappearance’ of hysteria by universalising hysteria and establishing it as a male as well as a female characteristic.

The shining cornerstone of psychoanalysis, the Oedipus Complex, was fashioned out of the study of male hysteria – Freud’s own, as well as that of his patient. However, Mitchell powerfully argues that Freud’s need to suppress his own ‘little hysteria’, as he famously called it, and his ambivalence about the early death of his younger brother, led him to overlook the importance of sibling relationships and the threat of displacement they contain, which are felt before the Oedipus Complex. ‘When a sibling is in the offing,’ writes Mitchell, choosing a word which could be interpreted as an example of the ‘wit of the unconscious’, ‘the danger is that His Majesty the Baby will be annihilated, for this is someone who stands in the same position to parents (and their substitutes) as himself. This possible displacement triggers the wish to kill in the interests of survival. The drive to inertia [the death drive] released by this shock becomes violence. Or it becomes a sexual drive, to get the interests of all and everyone for oneself.’

As the title Mitchell gives to one of her chapters ‘Sigmund Freud: A Fragment of a Case of Hysteria in a Male’ suggests, Mitchell believes that Freud’s hysteria was not so ‘little’. Again bucking the trend, she doesn’t reject the importance Freud’s Oedipus Complex, which she admits is difficult to overstate, but argues that the focus on generational relations has blocked the understanding of lateral ones.

Mitchell illustrates the importance of lateral relationships by reference to the first World War and the epidemic of male hysteria amongst the combatants: the ‘shell shock’ victims (so labelled partly because it was less humiliating to the men concerned than being called an ‘hysteric’). However, what has been forgotten is that the wartime male hysteric has not only been a victim of aggression from enemy action but has also been an aggressor. What the soldier may also be suffering from ‘is the knowledge that he has broken a taboo and that in doing so he has released his wish to do so – his wish, his “wanting” to murder, to kill his sibling substitutes.’

The so-called ‘negative’ or feminine Oedipus Complex, in which a man wants to be his mother and desires his father was elaborated by Freud as being as universal as the ‘positive’ one – but it never received as much attention in the theory then or especially since, effectively relegating it to the unconscious. ‘But it has surfaced again and again as homophobia…’ complains Mitchell. However, beating one’s breast about homophobia is to miss the point: ‘The attention now drawn to this homophobia means that we miss the crucial importance of hysterophobia in the theory as a whole.’

The negative Oedipus Complex, a passive relation towards the father, had to carry the weight of explanation of both male hysteria and homosexuality. ‘Too often the two have become confused. Hysteria, to the contrary, is essentially bisexual,’ explains Mitchell. (In an eerie confirmation of either great art’s psychoanalysis or psychoanalysis great art, Pat Barker’s ‘Regeneration’ trilogy fictional shell-shock victim ‘Billy Prior’ was bisexual and sexually compulsive.)

After the First World War the role of sexuality in hysteria and then hysteria itself was replaced by trauma (which is nowadays used to explain almost everything). But how to account for what Mitchell describes as ‘the rampant sexuality of war’ – which was recently illustrated by he publication of servicemen’s letters from The Great War which talked about ‘hard-ons’ when bayoneting the enemy? Mitchell posits an apparently ‘normal’ male war hysteria – a non-reproductive sexuality involving killing, mass rape and promiscuity: the death drive attaches itself to sexuality. The Oedipalization of all relationships meant that men at war and on civvie street could avoid being seen as hysterics – they were either homosexual or ‘normal’, that is heterosexual, and hysterical women merely appeared ultrafeminine. ‘In hundreds of clinical accounts… the man who displays hysterical characteristics is suffering from “feminine narcissism”, “feminine passivity” or homosexuality. In the eternal struggle to repress male hysteria, these are the new pathologies.’

Perhaps most interesting of all is Mitchell’s rescue of the Don Juan myth from the neglect that traditional psychoanalysis has condemned it. In the myth, Don Juan, a serial liar and seducer of women, kills the father of one of his conquests and is finally led to Hell by a stone statue of his victim. Sexuality and murder are completely/hysterically intertwined in the Don Juan story in a way that they are not in the Oedipus myth. Don Juan, the son, kills and defies the father substitute who has done nothing to him, where Oedipus defies then kills the father who has twice threatened to kill him (the displacement from actual father to father substitute is a typical hysterical substitution).

According to Mitchell, the repression of the Don Juan story, the story of male hysteria par excellence, has allowed all psychoanalytic theory to establish male sexuality as the norm and in doing so avoid its analysis. ‘Don Juan, the male hysteric, was absorbed into Freud’s own character; repressed and at the same time identified with.’

What is repressed returns. Now Don Juan is everywhere. The prevalence of the male hysteric ensured he became normalised as the post modern individual – a latter-day Don Juan, uninterested in fathering, just out to perform.’ The post modern Don Juan, like the original, does not take women as a love-object but instead makes a hysterical identification with them.Loaded lad is literally a ladies man.

However, for all her efforts to make hysteria visible again, Mitchell does not want to quarantine it. ‘Hysteria is part of the human condition,’ she states, ‘the underbelly of “normality”:

‘…it can move in the direction of serious pathology or in the direction of creativity… it is a way of establishing one’s uniqueness in the world where one both is and is not unique, a way of keeping control of others where one both does and does not have control.’

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